


Dear Sam

by Enamourous



Series: Letters [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 04:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enamourous/pseuds/Enamourous





	Dear Sam

If anyone had been at the cemetery that day they would’ve seen a man visiting his brother’s grave. They would have seen that he was holding a letter tightly in his hand. 

But the sun was only just cresting over the trees and no one was there to see him. For everyone else, this morning wasn’t for anything other than staying warm in bed. For Dean, this was a morning he’d been working towards for a long time.

His breath faded into the air and he tugged his jacket closer around him. He looked one more time at the letter in his hand before placing it gently against the headstone.

 

_ Hey Sammy _

_ It’s been a year. _

_ I don’t know how I’ve gotten through it man, it’s been really hard. I guess losing your little brother never gets any easier, no matter how many times it happens. But you aren’t coming back this time and that makes it so much worse. _

_ The only reason I haven’t put a bullet in my skull is for you Sam. But I’m so tired and I can’t say I don’t want to. _

_ I just wanted to say I really miss you, and this is the only way I know how. I just need to say it, because I never got to say goodbye and it’s tearing me apart. _

_ I need you to know that you had it all wrong. I never wanted you gone. I never wanted you anywhere other than right next to me. I made so many mistakes Sam. One of them was blaming you for yours. I was stupid and angry and now I have to live with what that did to you every day. _

_ You were never a disappointment to me. I just wish I could have told you that when it really mattered. _

_ You asked me if I remember that time in Tucson. I guess you remembered I was drunk that night. I don’t remember much of what I said. But I do remember how I felt, and how I still feel. I meant what I said to you. _

_ How much you’ve meant to me is one thing that’s never changed from when we were kids Sam. But it was always the hardest thing for me to talk about. And for that I’m sorry. Because now that you’re gone I tell myself that if I’d told you more often you might still be here. _

_ I’d give anything for you to be here. _

_ I hope that somehow you know that. I’d still give anything. And I’d give it over and over again until there was nothing left of me. But I won’t because you don’t want to be here. But someday Sam, when a hunt goes bad or maybe when I’m old and can’t do much of anything, I’m gonna die. And don’t think I’m not gonna look for you. There’s no way I’m spending an eternity without my little brother. This year has been bad enough. _

_ So I’ll be seeing you sometime. Hope you’re staying out of trouble. _

_ Dean _

**_  
_** If anyone had been at the cemetery that day they would have seen a man crying at his brother’s grave.


End file.
